An Approach To This Crazy Life: Advice for Surviving Thanksgiving 2017



I have to get some thoughts out on this Thanksgiving Eve (someone I was at a meeting with tonight called it “F*** the Pilgrims Day,” which I am in favor of quite a bit). Things are pretty torn apart both in our country and within families these days. I imagine that there will be some conversations tomorrow and over the weekend about the insanity that is our world right now, and I can also imagine how that can stir up emotions like anger, which can lead to lashing out, which is how conflict escalates and how divisions grow wider.

The word woke means a lot of things to a lot of people these days, and I tend to stay away from it usually. It feels appropriated to me. Also, I often feel weird about groupthink phrases or buzzwords/phrases. It weirds me out! Like when people say someone “threw them under the bus.” That didn’t come from anywhere. That isn’t a thing other than that saying, look it up. That and “game changer.” That’s not from any sport ever. Look it up! I do however love internet lingo af rn. Ok ok, I digress. Tonight it clicked that being “woke,” means you’ve chosen (by force or otherwise) to lift the veil and look at and accept things you may not want to, on all levels of reality, including about yourself. I’ve been spending this last year trying to open up my mind as much as I can because last year it got opened up too fast for me and it really screwed with my mind for a bit.  Here is where I’ve landed; and I hope this helps in your conversations with family and friends over the coming days and weeks:

So, in life you can’t have all light and no dark. You can’t have only one ever, because everyone’s life ends in the dark and no one knows what’s after this and that’s just reality. You can have your idea of heaven or nothingness or whatever it is you believe comes after this life (an eternity of a 24 cookie binge, no stomach ache, thanks ya); but in the end is when we will each find out. I’m sorry it’s not easy to read or hear but that is just reality. So. With that fact. Now what? Well, now that we’ve accepted the darkest fact of life (ya know, NBD), then that is when we have the bravery and courage to not only look at, but recognize, mourn, and respect the darkest parts of our shared realities.  RECOGNIZE that the level of and degree of malice should be leveled the same in all situations. MOURN the fact that we’ve let it all go on for so long and done nothing to fix the problem. Get angry then mourn it, with a much deserved RESPECT to the reality the victims experienced, and then choose to stand up and say no more. As more of this purge happens, more dark stuff will come out. A lot more. But do not dispaire, where there is dark, guess what, there is also light! So please remember that in the reality we share, yours and mine, the one of me and my family member and me and my friend and me and my neighbor, we are not the labels they put upon us that we then ascribe to each other. Labels lead to judgement. Judgment leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. You are not your labels. Open up your mind and heart because now, tomorrow with your family and friends, that is where you should put your hearts and open minds to work and get to know each other again and to be each other’s light in this dark. Because this life is very short. You shouldn’t leave behind loose ends. It won’t feel good later on, believe-you-me. I give you permission to forgive each other and to believe each other in order to move forward, however that may look in this new world we are forging. You’ll see how close together you really are. I swear you will. Be nice to each other, be compassionate, be empathetic. Be a human being.