The progress I'm referring to is OH so slow moving.
Here's a rundown of my sitch: The spine surgery I had in early November was successful in removing my herniated disc, however a dent was left in my spinal cord as a result. I've been told by docs that there is not any permanent damage which is wonderful news!
But (there's always a but it seems these days), nerves are very slow to heal. The best way I've come to understand this is that nerves are similar to wet spaghetti noodles. When they become compressed, they clump together and once the compression has been relieved, it takes a long time for them to de-clump (new word?) and heal. Up to 18 months, in fact. The good news? At any moment I can wake up and be better! However, I'm a notoriously slow healer as it is and considering how things have been going, I'm keeping my expectations low but my hopes and motivation as high as I can.
To give you an idea of what this like, the pain I feel radiates through my right arm and leg, my shoulders and neck on both sides, and as of recently (this had originally gone away post op), my lower neck into head. The pain is 24/7, and this type of pain literally has no rhyme or reason. As it heals, it can get worse before it gets better, and I believe that's where I'm at in the healing process. My doctor described it this way: If you lay on your arm and it goes to sleep, as it wakes up it tingles, hurts, burns, but then goes right back to normal after a minute or two. Long term nerve healing is like that, but just a ton slower and unpredictable. It makes for some good days, some tough days, and some all out hell days where my whole body feels on fire. Luckily, I've only had a few of those, and those are the days I eat ice cream for lunch because why the F---K not?!
And now the butt rocks. My back, upper arms, and shoulders have these insane knots. They are gigantic and hard and when my physical therapist works on them, it's pretty damn intense and ignites more burning that night and the next day. I have these knots in both of my butt cheeks, as well, and when they are inflamed, it's like sitting on two hot ass stones that have been implanted in my butt cheeks. Sexy stuff going on here, people.
So there you have it. That's my life right now. So, what does this mean for my business? I can't use my hands for hard gripping, so it's hard to do a lot that is required for making them. I definitely am no where near woodworking status again. So, for the time being, I don't know, but that's OK. I only have so much control right now, so all I can do is focus on getting myself healthy again. And I've never wanted this business to be "all about the Benjamins," as the kids say (they still say that, right?). My business is about making a functional piece of art that brings beauty and sense of calm to your home, while providing a light in the dark for others by giving a portion of sales to local community charities. And in the process of doing that, I learn so much about, well, everything. Creating something from nothing just makes you see the world with a new set of eyes, and it's glorious to experience. I'm not sure you'll see anything coming out soon, but I really hope you do. And I'll of course keep everyone up to date and still have lamps available at Modern Cooperative, Sacred Art, and OrangeBeautiful.
This has been one of the craziest situations I've had the pleasure of experiencing. I say that because I'm learning so much about my body and what I'm capable of handling and that alone may be worth the pain. I have to look for the positives or I'll go cray cray. It's been 9 months of pain, with a possible 13 months more. But that's worst case, so let's just hope it doesn't shake out that way, shall we?
It means a ton that people are still paying attention to RI. I started this business out of a newly discovered passion for woodworking. I have so many ideas I want to make into a reality, and I know I'll be back there some day. Hope is a powerful thing.
Thanks for reading and caring enough to check in. It means more than you know.